under the iron bridge
by i set my sims on fire
Summary: 'I think we both know what you want, you're just too scared to admit it.' - Albus/Scorpius.


**Warning: bad language and probable clichés**

**Title is from 'Still Ill' by the Smiths**

under the iron bridge

The first time Scorpius kisses Albus, they are in detention.

They're in the forbidden forest, and it's dark, and Hagrid is somewhere else and moonlight spills over Al's face, illuminating his pale skin and brightening his emerald eyes. Al is mid-way through a sentence.

Scorpius doesn't know what it is; what is is about the way Al's lips are tugged up at the corners into a smile, and the way his quiet voice echoes in the quiet of the forest where the only other sounds are the rustling of leaves.

Al never finishes his sentence, because suddenly Scorpius's lips meet his.

And when he pulls away, Al is smiling again.

'What was that for?' he asks, with another smile, and Scorpius's heart is beating really, really fast.

'I don't know,' he admits.

Al shrugs, and they go back to their punishment, and they share no more words.

When Scorpius turns his back, Al touches his lips softly, wondering if he's in some kind of dream. Or nightmare, depending on which way you look at it, because things might never be the same now.

But Al liked the feel of his best friend's lips in sync with his own, and he decides that right now, it's definitely not a nightmare.

x

When they get back to the castle, Scorpius throws himself into bed and turns off the lights without a single word. And Al raises his eyebrow, confused, because Scorpius was the one who kissed him and so he doesn't see the problem.

It's not as if Al rejected him- Al kissed him back, because he'd always had these weird feelings for his best friend, but he didn't quite know what they were or where they came from. And now he does.

He likes Scorpius. A lot. There's no point in denying it.

Al finds he can't quite sleep. He's too pre-occupied in thinking, too dazed. And so the hours pass by in a flash, he tosses and he turns, but thoughts keep on coming and as they rush into his brain, they knock out any chance of sleep and any hint of drowsiness.

By two am, Al is still wide awake, and he knows Scorpius is too.

Their roommates are definitely asleep, snoring faintly, but Al can see Scorpius lying in his bed stiffly, and Al knows that he doesn't sleep that way. If Scor was asleep, he'd be breathing lightly and his body would be curved and his arms would be wrapped around his pillow. It's one of those things Al just knows about him, never mind how creepy it makes him feel.

Al stands up quickly, pulling off the covers and trying not to make too much noise. He pads across the room, and sits down on the end of Scorpius's bed.

'Scor?' he whispers faintly, and Scorpius stirs. Al wonders if Scorpius is pretending to be asleep. He isn't doing a very good job, at any rate.

Scorpius gives up on his pretense and sits up slowly, blinking at Al's silhouette in the dark.

'What is it?' he says tiredly.

'We need to talk,' Al says, and then he regrets it. Surely they aren't the best choice of words.

'What about?' he says stupidly.

Al rolls his eyes. 'What do you think?' he murmurs. 'Come on, you can't just kiss me and then not talk to me. I'm fucking confused, here.'

'Oh. Right,' Scorpius gulps. 'Yeah, sorry about that.'

'Sorry for what?' Al narrows his eyes. 'Kissing me? Or kissing me and then refusing to talk to me?'

'Kissing you in general, I guess.'

'Don't be sorry,' Al shrugs. 'I don't mind.'

Scorpius takes a deep breath, and Al is looking at him in a way that Scorpius knows means he wants to kiss him. He leans in, just a little bit. 'Al...'

Al pulls away, annoyed. 'What's your problem? _You_ kissed _me_.'

'Don't.'

'What is it?'

Scorpius closes his eyes. 'I need time to think,' he says. 'I need to sort out what the hell is going on in my head, and what I just did and what it all means, okay?'

Al is quiet for a long moment. Scorpius feels the weight of his bed being lifted as Al quickly stands up and silently returns to his own bed.

'Okay,' he says softly, moments later. 'You can figure out what you want. But I think we both know what that is already, you're just too scared to admit it.'

x

Al doesn't push Scorpius into talking to him again, but he doesn't seem to be doing much thinking.

And Al tries to act like everything is normal, he really does, but it's hard when all he wants is to feel Scor's lips against his own again. He doesn't understand what he's done wrong, but Scorpius won't look him in the eye and he seems to freeze every time their hands brush. Al doesn't get it, because Scorpius was the one who initiated the kiss, and now look.

It's unfair, really.

And then in Potions, Scorpius moves seats.

It perhaps shouldn't be such a big deal- but Al and Scor have been Potions partners since first year, and when Al looks over to where Scorpius now works with Rose, he's laughing and flirting with her and resting his hand on her shoulder as she stirs the cauldron, flirting right back with him, and Al feels a pain in his chest.

Al looks over at them, irritated, and he catches Scor's eye. Scorpius looks away in an instant, breaking whatever connection could exist in half a second, and Al hides behind his fringe in anger.

It's not fair for Scorpius to mess with his feelings and his head and his heart like this. It isn't fair that Scorpius can kiss him and then blank him and say _he_ needs to work out what his feelings are.

Al decides in an instant that you shouldn't kiss somebody without knowing how you feel about them first, and fixes his eyes on his ingredients for the potion resentfully, making no effort to start.

'Uh, Al?' Tate Redwood says, and Al doesn't bother to look up. 'Are you gonna help me finish this potion or what?'

Al sighs irritably, sitting up properly, his messy hair still falling in his eyes.

He sends one last, glowering look over at Scorpius and Rose, and then he looks away, missing the guilty and apologetic look Scorpius sends in his direction.

x

Word of Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy's relationship is all over the school before twenty-four hours have passed. Of course it is. They're legendary throughout Hogwarts, Scorpius being the son of the youngest Death Eater and Rose being Rose, the daughter of two war heroes and the niece of Harry Potter, and just generally being everything a perfect Gryffindor prefect is.

Al finds out in perhaps the shittiest way possible, over-hearing a conversation between two Ravenclaws during Defense Against the Dark Arts.

'It's soooo cute,' one girl sighs, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. 'It's like Romeo and Juliet, isn't it? Their families _hated_ each other.'

'I don't think they suit each other,' the second girl pouts. 'Scorpius is way too good for Rose.'

Al snaps back into reality, back from another daydream he quickly discards upon hearing the name of his best friend and his cousin.

He glances across the classroom, witnessing a tender moment of Scorpius whispering into Rose's ear, a faint pink blush spreading across her cheeks and scattered freckles, his hand resting on hers.

Al feels sick.

He turns around to face the two girls.

'Are Rose and Scorpius going out?' he asks.

'Well _duh_,' the first one rolls her eyes. 'It's soooo obvious.'

Al decides he doesn't like this girl. He wonders why the two girls don't snap at him for eavesdropping or whatever, but the second girl is blushing at his contact with them and he remembers- oh, yeah, he's Albus Potter, the son of the Boy Who Lived and he hates it but people have a tendency to like him and want to know him, purely for that reason.

'Uh, yeah,' Al says, a little darkly, and he turns away.

Scorpius and Rose don't once look in his direction.

x

Al storms into the dormitory later, it is empty other than Scorpius sprawled out on the bed reading a book, and for that, Al is thankful.

'What the _FUCK_ Scorpius!?' he yells.

Scorpius puts down his book and he blinks, confusion written on his face.

'Huh?' he says, stupidly, and Al's temper flares even more.

'What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? Dating my fucking _cousin!_'

'Oh.'

'Rose! Of all the bloody people! What the fuck, Malfoy? Why the hell d'you have to bring my fucking _cousin_ into this mess!?'

Scorpius shrugs. 'I like her.'

'No you don't!' Al snaps. 'You don't like her. You like me. I know you like me, and you know that you like me, but you're too much of a fucking _pussy_ to admit that to anyone. Not even yourself!'

Scorpius grows a little more pale. 'Al, please...'

'The hell are you playing at?!' Al's voice doesn't soften, he is still yelling, his emerald eyes burning intensely as he glares at his best friend. 'First, you kiss me. You fucking _kiss_ me out of the blue. I make it pretty clear that I actually like you. You tell me you need time to think! And then suddenly, you're blanking me and making it pretty clear you want fuck-all to do with me. And now? You're dating my fucking _cousin_?!'

'I like Rose!' Scorpius insists, and he says it pleadingly and Al doesn't believe a word. It sounds more like a question.

'Do you?' Al spits. 'Or is she just the easy way out?'

The room turns silent. Scorpius sits on his bed, white-faced and quiet. Al stands, shaking, his fists clenched furiously.

'I don't know,' Scorpius admits. 'I don't know what I want.'

'Well you'd better fucking figure it out, you fucking _twat_, because I'm sick of being messed around,' Al shakes his head in disbelief. 'I can't bloody believe you.'

Al storms back out of the dormitory, passing a few wide-eyed first years as he leaves the Slytherin common room, his best friend still sat on his bed, raking a hand through messy blonde hair.

x

They don't talk for three weeks.

Al doesn't come back to the dorm until late when the lights are already off. If Scorpius is still awake, Al pulls himself into bed and stiffly turns with his back to Scorpius and they both know that if Scorpius does try to initiate any whispered explanations, Al would either ignore him or tell him to fuck off.

It hurts, whenever Al sees Rose and Scorpius together, laughing and flirting, and it feels like he's been punched in the stomach when he passes them walking hand-in-hand, or when Scorpius has his arm draped around her shoulders in the corridor.

However, they both know that Scorpius isn't happy.

Al knows Scorpius well enough to know when he's faking a smile or forcing a laugh, and it makes him smirk to himself, sometimes, as horrible as it sounds when he recognises false happiness during his relationship with Rose. Not that Rose notices, she's to pre-occupied with lips meeting hers and his fingers entwined with her own.

Al has been jealous of Rose a lot throughout their lives. She got the better grades, she had more friends. Everyone loved her _more_ because she was a prefect, over and over, and she passed all her OWLs with Outstandings, and she was a Gryffindor and that in itself made her better than Al- but never has he felt jealousy quite like this, like a knife plunging into his chest and he can barely look at her without resentment anymore.

Not that Rose gets it- she just knows that he and Scorpius had a fight, and she's tried asking Scorpius but he won't tell her, and it doesn't take a genius to notice that Al sends her death glares during classes and seems to radiate hatred towards her and so she doesn't even bother approaching him.

Scorpius tries to make things right. He reaches out an arm, brushes Al's hand and grabs his sleeve, attempting to pull Al towards him.

'Al, please-' he tries.

'Fuck off,' Al growls.

Scorpius quickly realises that Al wants nothing to do with him. Really, he doesn't blame him.

x

Al is sitting on the astronomy tower when it happens.

He is alone, thinking, his fists clenched because he's thinking too hard and suddenly there are footsteps and Scorpius is standing there, his eyes wide and his hair messed up.

'What do you want?' Al sighs, not even having the energy to snap or growl or spit the words out like he usually does. He's tired of being angry, but he can't just forgive and forget and pretend he's happy with all of this crap, because he isn't. He just wants his best friend back.

Scorpius doesn't say anything. Al stands up, and looks at him.

A long moment passes. Al opens his mouth, the word 'Well?' already formed on his tongue, but he doesn't get a chance because Scorpius is pushing him against the wall and pressing his lips fiercely to Al's.

Al kisses back, for half a second, before he pushes Scorpius away.

Scorpius looks at Al, hurt and confused. Al glowers at Scorpius, anger suddenly refilling him.

'What the hell!?' he shouts, trying to hide the hurt in his emerald eyes, but not quite managing it because Scorpius is suddenly looking guilty and ashamed.

'I know what I want,' Scorpius says.

Al freezes.

And then, at last-

'Does Rose know?'

Scorpius looks at the floor. Al shakes his head.

'You're unbelievable,' he mutters, and he walks away.

x

News of Rose and Scorpius's break up spreads through the castle quicker than the black death, and Al should probably feel guilty when his heart soars but he doesn't.

Al finds Scorpius in their dorm, sitting on his bed alone.

'Hey,' Al says.

'Hey.'

There is an uncomfortable silence.

'I'm sorry, Al,' says Scorpius, accompanying his words with a sigh. 'I really fucked up.'

Al sits beside him.

'Yeah, you did,' he says. 'But I forgive you. It's cool.'

Scorpius gives him a half-smile, and then they're kissing, again.

Al pulls away, only for a moment. 'You dumped my cousin. Really, I should be hexing you right now. Not snogging you.'

Scorpius considers this. 'That's probably true,' he agrees. 'Please don't.'

'Nah, I won't,' Al grins. 'This is much more fun.'

He kisses him again, and things finally feel right.

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